make me happy, please

It's Merdeka night where people should be celebrating and enjoying themselves outside or inside house with friends and family, watching fireworks and stuff.

But here I am in this very little room, sitting down and typing an emo post about my life. That emo entry should not be posted on my blog during festive season like this. So I deleted it :)

And suddenly I came across this..

YES PEOPLE! I LIVE IN A PRETTY DAMN FREAKIN' BORING LIFE! ACCEPT THAT!

You don't have to remind me every time because everyday I'm trying my hardest to live a normal life like I used to. But when I'm here, everything changed! and I have to suffer this shit alone. Every time I tried to talk to my friends about this, all they can say is "Sabar lah". Fyi, I have been patient enough suffering this thing alone. I f not, I may had been out there doing drugs or taking pills or harm my own body.

Every time I have problems, I am the one who have to give up. I am the one who have to change and be like somebody else. I am the one who must fake a smile for their own sake. I am the one that people will blame. I am the one who have to sit there patiently and see others laughing.

Every time, I have to change for the people around me. But did they ever change for me? Never.

I will have to give up everything for the sake of people around me but why can't they do the same thing for me?

*To that dude yang ckp cmtu kat aku, mntak maap la ye conversation tu kua kat sini. Mmg wrong timing ar ko nk gurau senda ngan aku mcm tu time ni.*

And pasal aku klua ngan kawan2 aku smlm, ade jugak yang nk pandang serong sbb aku sorang je yang perempuan. Ko faham x, aku yang tengah stress ni, aku yang tak tentu arah bawak krete pegi sane jemput dorang, aku yang dah ajak budak perempuan tapi dorang tanak sebab dorang nk klua esok, aku yang tengah bermasalah ni! Boleh x kau faham! Aku perlu kan orang utk cheer kan aku tapi dah laki je yang ade, aku angkut jela. Kalo ko nak aku pegi jalan sorang2 boleh je, tapi lagi dull la hidup aku, xde sape nk borak and last2 aku end up cakap sorang diri. Mane satu ko nak?! Itu pon susah nk paham ke? Aku tau la ko dari skolah asrama, bab2 agama ni mmg ko terer la kan. Tapi aku bukan nk merlekeh kan pasal tu, aku tau kalo nk bergaul ade batas2 nye jugak. Walaupun aku tak pakai tudung tapi aku tak jahil la mcm yg ko pk tu. Cube la jgn nk sakit kat ati aku lagi time2 cmni. Aku sensitif tau x skang! erghhhhh

There you go. Supposed this entry x emo tapi tibe2 ter-emo plak. Nasib lah!

~~~yaw!