Two days left

So today is Friday and my exam starts on this Monday. Well, actually it has already started last Monday, which is English but I ain't care much about that. It is not like I am so overly confident I could get 1,0 but that subject really doesn't matter to me. I think I may get 3,0 and above because I didn't answer some part of the given question. Oh whatever.

Right now I want to express my dissatisfaction towards the German people. In this case - the professors.

Since I have a lot of trouble regarding my studies, I need to discuss about my problem with the professors involved. I thought only the students have arrogant attitude. But to my surprise, the professors are pretty much the same.

I remember when I went to see Prof. B at the beginning of the semester to see my exam paper. He literally shut my future down. He said I will never pass his exam, I will never pass any other subjects, I will never graduate in Germany and I will never ever graduate as an engineer at all. Do you how it feels to hear someone, to make it worse, a professor say that to you? I feel like I want to explode on his face. I feel like I want to tear up this place. A decent professor should give you advice or some kind of motivational talk to motivate you to be successful. Instead, he makes me want to be suicidal. I am not lying. At first I thought I am a failure and then I felt like giving up, pack my belongings and go home. To make it even worse, I am living here alone. I have no best buddy to share my problem and if I were going nuts at that time, nobody can save me except smell my rotten body.

For another subject, I went to see Dr. S. Okay he is not a professor but an engineer with the title Doctor. When I came to him there was another student discussing things with him. A Deutsche. He looked very happy, so talkative and so concern about that student's understanding. And when the kid was gone and it is my turn to discuss with him, his face immediately turned sour. He has nothing to ask me to show his concern about me, instead he pulled out a look that show how unwanted I was at that time. I asked him questions but he only replied a short answer, unlike when he answered the Deutsche's questions. For me he was being unhelpful.

And today I went to see another Prof. B. Again there were some students asking him about the subject and he was so pleased to explain it all despite his busy schedule. When he's done with the other students, he saw me waiting next to him but he quickly grab his files to go away. I was so mad because I waited for him for so long while he is explaining things to that student and the other student and the other student and when it is my turn he decided to go away?! But I managed to asked him some questions and by the look on his face, I knew he is not sincere to help me.


Am I the problem or is this really the attitude of German professors? Or is it because I am a foreigner? I have to admit there are some professors that are helpful and kind but in comparison with those who are arrogant, the difference is so big. In my opinion, this is something shameful about Germany. Professors should be professional, not showing a bad attitude and arrogant towards students, especially foreigners. I am not trying to be a boss, to ask people to do this and that, but attitude must come first. If you are working as an educator or a leader, you got to have a good personality and sincere with your job. Even if you hate the student, you have to show your effort to help them. You don't get paid to put people's hope down.

Well I hope I will get through this exam with ease.




~~~yaw!

It is creeping near

Wolaa wolaaaaa! My first post in 2014!

Well whatever.

What is creeping near? My exam of course!
It is really stressing me out as I have two dritte Versuch subjects. I don't really know the exact word for dritte Versuch in English or bm, but in a long explainantion term, dritter Versuch is the subject(s) that I am currently repeating for the third time and if I fail again this time, baaam! I am dead.

I am not good at managing my time and I am always confused which subject I should study for the day. Because there are too many!!!

It really brings me down knowing that I have to go through this at this early stage. Like come on...the subjects that I will be repeating for the third time are not even close to the level hard. What will happen if I were to take those subjects in the high semester? How many times would I have failed? This shit scares me.

For one year I have given up a lot. I rarely chose to go out with my friends because of this. I opt to just stay here so that my time won't be wasted. The first six months of hard work doesn't show pay off. It really turning me down. Hopefully this time it works. I am calling this my sacrifice. If it doesn't work out too, then maybe my rezeki is not here.

Gotta be strong...




~~~yaw!

Crap post

Life is so much complicated than it seems a few years ago.
Why does it took so long for me to realise this?

What you have right now does not mean it is going to stay with you forever.

Whatever reason that you think behind everything you went through (hikmah) is never right. (For me you can never guess the right hikmah)

Whatever pleasure you have right now does not mean you deserve to have it and if you don't deserve it karma will come back at you. (Let's just say karma in this case is qada' & qadar)

What you think is right is always wrong. What you think is wrong is always wrong. (You are never right in the eyes of other judgemental people)

Your instinct is not always giving you the right sign either.

Promise is just something that someone say to make one's feel safe, calm ad not to worry too much; but that does not mean that somebody will keep their words. (That is why I never say any promises to anyone)

You will never know who is your real life partner (love partner) until you marry them. (You saw your crush or your current relationship partner and you think they are the one because you trust them but hell no don't be too quick to fall because you never know what plan He has for you). (So if you are in a relationship don't imagine about marriage and family and future stuff like that, just focus on the present so you won't get hurt)

What you had work hard for does not mean it is enough to success. (If you are still failing, think about the thing that you do that is not related to what you are working hard for that is not perfect, for example maybe you have made some mistake and that is why He is not giving you the success that you wanted)

What looks beautiful does not mean it is good. What is ugly does not mean it is bad. (Don't be fooled around by appearance)

That is enough crap for tonight.

Good night.

2

What the hell this is my second post this year?!?!?!?! Ahahahaha! Blogging era is long gone for me.

Today I suddenly thought about this blog and I wonder if I could still manage this blog from time to time.

Well I just uninstalled Twitter Facebook and other social networking apps from my phone so I have nothing else to do when I am bored. So I installed Blogger instead.

Actually the main point for me to uninstall those apps was to make me study when I am bored. Oh well those devils around me really do their work fast.

I shouldn't me writing too much.

I am so stupid and I need to study. This is my last chance. Or else....kabooom! No future. Shame on me.

Laterrrrrr.

Hello!

My last post was on 23rd of September 2012.

Yes, it has been a while since I last write on this blog.

Truth is, I've been busy and lazy all this time. I wanted to write. There's plenty of things I wanted to talk about but.. My. Fingers. Just. Could. Not. Click. On. This. Site.

Hmm.. I forgot to tell you how my life has changed when I look back at my last post. 

First things first, I am not studying at Nuremberg. I moved back to Deggendorf, the place where I did my German language preparation and exam. My application to study in Nuremberg was decline at the very last minute, which really complicate my life at that moment. It was a tough time for me to accept the fact that I have to pack up my stuff back, which I have just unloaded from my luggage not more than 2 weeks.

Good Bye Nuremberg!

Anyhow, I find that my second phase of life in Deggendorf  is much better than my previous stay here. Since I was in a hurry to find a new house here, there was not much time to wait for longer time to decide which house is better. I ended up renting a house or as I would preferably say as a room that is new, big and quite expensive for a tiny place like Deggendorf.

Ahaa my room  before and during my stay. Oh yea I know it is a mess, thank you for your compliment :P

Studying as a university student is really different than studying as a school student, plus studying overseas, in a country which does not speak a language you are familiar with, just multiple the difficulty of studying to infinity! Even though I have been learning German language for almost three years now but I still could not able to fully understand what the heck these mat salleh are talking about. And I can't directly answer any question they pointed out at me.

Hmm well what can I say, I chose this fucked up life, I have to live in it with open fucked up heart :)

By the time I'm writing this I already started my second semester for exactly a month. I thought I wanted to be more determined, more spiritual, more hardworking than before, but hey this one month self-probation shows me that I haven't changed at all. *sigh*

I really really really want to keep this blog updated but it all depends on my mood, ideas, laziness and time. Aha.

Will catch up with ya soon okay!

Randon Photo

Neslo tabur. Kempunan haha

~~~yaw!